


Weapons of Mass Distraction

by faerieincombatboots



Series: The Unholy Misadventures of Sister Serafina [4]
Category: Ghost (Sweden Band)
Genre: Consumption of a Popsicle in a Suggestive Manner, Cunnilingus, F/M, Face-Sitting, Latinx Character, Multi, Serafina is 'popular' to say the least, Some Crack, Some Fluff, Some Humor, Some exhibitionism, Spanking, Tanning oil, Vaginal Sex, big serving of smut, mild voyeurism i guess, striptease, struggles with jealousy, the usual witty banter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2020-09-25 21:38:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20378530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faerieincombatboots/pseuds/faerieincombatboots
Summary: An Unholy Misadventures Summer Special! Sister Serafina's trying to work on her tan when she gets distracted by the Ghouls. The Ghouls are trying to do yard work when they get distracted by Sister Serafina. Then the Cardinal is trying to work on a sermon when he gets distracted by the Sister and the Ghouls!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing and make no profit. This is for entertainment purposes only, and Copia and the Ghouls are not intended to resemble any actual person living or dead.  
That said, I hope you enjoy this two part, self indulgent crack I hammered together.

It's one of the hottest summers in the history of the Church. No one can remember the last time the temperatures soared so high, or the sun blazed so brightly. Today isn't any different; those who can, stay inside the Church's air conditioned rooms, or even in the cool, cavernous wine cellars and catacombs. Meanwhile, The Nameless Ghouls who have been assigned grounds keeping duty bemoan their ill luck. Their tune changes however, when they see Sister Serafina strolling onto the Courtyard Green with one purpose, and one purpose only. To work on her tan.

Most Sisters of Sin like to keep their complexions pale as porcelain. In days of old, they would achieve their ghostly pallor through leeches and regular bleedings. Or they'd employ a bevy of remedies, cosmetics, potions and tonics, both applied and ingested, made from everything to harmless mashed strawberries, to deadly arsenic and lead. The modern Sister of Sin protects her complexion by staying indoors, and if she must go out, hiding under cover of sunscreen, parasols, veils and hats. Manic Panic's Virgin Powder is also wildly popular. But Sister Serafina is different. A youth spent on the beaches of Massachusetts or Florida has given the Sister a deep fondness for sunshine and heat. Where others wilt, she blooms; her skin burnished a lovely golden brown. When she joined the Church, she could not give up her love of sun bathing, and so spends most of the summer stretched out on a beach blanket in the Church gardens or courtyard, wherever the sun is best. So that’s why she’s here, striding across the manicured grass in her platform wedgie sandals, a cherry printed bikini, and a pair of absurdly tiny cutoff denim shorts. She’s carrying a tote bag, and a pineapple printed beach blanket. Perched on her shoulder is an old school boom box, blasting a mix CD of pop, Latin and just a little hair metal. When she sees which Ghouls have been tasked with trimming the topiary and watering the flowers, the Sister smiles. Aether, The Swiss Army Ghoul (also called Multi Ghoul, depending on the day), and Ember, the Ghoul formerly known as Dewdrop. Their sleeves are rolled up, and their masks glint and glimmer in the sun. What wonderful luck, she has eye candy for this afternoon’s tanning session. The Ghouls pause their work to wave, and she blows kisses to them.  
“Looking good, Love!” Aether calls, cheeky as ever.

Serafina flashes him her customary grin, and starts to set up camp, unfolding the blanket and setting her boom box beside. She can’t help herself; she makes a great show of bending over, giving the Ghouls an excellent view of her rump. She can hear pleased growls and purrs. Then comes the most exciting part of her summer ritual. She pulls out a bottle of tanning oil from her tote bag shaped like a watermelon slice. The Ghouls see it, and a cheer goes up. They know what’s coming next.

Cardinal Copia is sitting at his desk, writing a sermon for the next Unholy Mass, when he hears a chorus of whistles and cheers floating in from the open window. What in the Nine Pits of Hell is going on out there? He tosses down his engraved sterling silver pen and heaves himself up from his chair to see what’s causing this ruckus. The Ghouls are supposed to be trimming hedges and watering flowers, and those are not the sounds of hard work. He strides over to the window and leans out, ready to give the miscreants a verbal lashing. But when he see what, no who, has distracted them, he gasps and stops short.

Sister Serafina is standing on the Courtyard lawn, dressed in white bikini printed with red cherries, and a pair of obscene shorts. She’s all bodacious curves and tattoos; a body he now knows as well as his own. He feels a familiar throb of desire at the sight of her. She is applying tanning oil to her chest and arms, and the three Ghouls have abandoned their gardening tools in order to watch. Copia is ready to shout at them for acting like a pack of beasts, until he sees the smile on Serafina’s face, and the way she’s holding herself. She’s not in need of his defense after all; she’s enjoying this attention, and making a show out of her vanity and lust! He can hear her calling to the Ghouls.

“You like what you see, _muchachos_?” Sister Serafina teases, running her fingers down her throat, over the curves of her breasts.

They cheer and purr in response, and one of them, Ember, most likely, can be heard shouting:  
“Take your top off!”

For a moment, Copia hopes she actually will. The Sister has little to no shame; he can easily see her whipping off that bikini top to reveal the pair of breasts he’s come to adore. But to his, and the Ghouls’ disappointment, Serafina only laugh and shakes her head.

“Maybe later” she says, applying oil to her stomach. It is not flat, it’s never been flat, but she doesn’t care, and she finds her admirers don’t either. Both Cardinal and Ghoul alike have worshiped at the altar of her curves.  
“Something’s about to come off though…”

Sister Serafina slowly unbuttons her shorts, and starts to shimmy out of them. She makes a strip-tease out of what should be a simple task, bending over as she slides the shorts off her ass and hips, down over her thick thighs. She faces the Cardinal’s office window, giving the trio of Ghouls an excellent view of her ass, a ripe peach clad in ruffled bikini bottoms. From Copia’s vantage point, he gets a very good look at her magnificent cleavage, an arousing sight. Whenever he’s with the Sister, he can’t keep his hands, or his mouth, off of them.

Serafina feels a fourth set of eyes fall on her, and glances up. A familiar figure stands in the window, watching. Cardinal Copia. She smiles, and meets his gaze with a saucy wink. She’s feeling especially wicked now that she knows he’s there. It’s one thing to get the Ghouls all riled up, but getting Copia hot and bothered is her new favorite hobby.

The Sister returns to the task of applying tanning oil. She rubs the coconut concoction onto her legs, down her thighs and calves. Copia bites his lip, thinking about how she wraps those legs around his waist, or throws them over his shoulders. The Ghouls so happen to be having similar thoughts, each one of them having had carnal knowledge of Sister Serafina at one point or another. When she’s finished, she looks over her shoulder at the three Ghouls and asks in a tone no man in the Church can resist:  
“Can one of you handsome Ghouls help me put some of this stuff on my back?”

The Cardinal watches in fascination as the Ghouls argue between themselves in Ghoulish, punctuated by growling. He wonders if things will get physical. Would they really brawl over the chance to put tanning oil on a Sister? But it only ends in a match of Rock, Paper, Scissors, with Swiss winning.

“I’m coming, oh lovely one,” the multi-talented Ghoul sings, sauntering over to where Sister Serafina has kicked off her sandals and settled onto her beach blanket.

“Phrasing,” She chirps, handing him the bottle of oil.

Swiss chuckles, and kneels behind Serafina on the blanket. Expecting the sensation of warm oil, the Sister gasps when she feels a soft pair of lips caress her neck, while long fingers trace little patterns on her back. She stifles a moan.

“What are you doing, naughty Ghoul?” Sister Serafina sighs, leaning into his touch.

“Getting a taste of you before I have to slather this coconut crap everywhere,” Swiss purrs.

He drags his tongue gently up her neck, savoring the salt of her skin. Serafina shudders in delight, making him grin against her flesh.

Copia watches the scene unfold below, gripping the window sill to brace himself against the envy surging through his body. It mixes with his desire. For a minute, he’s not sure if he wants to be the Ghoul, or the Sister. The other Ghouls are also watching, low growls rumbling in their chests. Swiss tenderly, but possessively bites at the new scar on her shoulder, left by the Cardinal the previous month.

“Who left that little token, my sweet Sister?” He teases, running his fingers up and down her sides.  
“Do I have a rival for your affections?”

“Oh hush,” Sister Serafina says.  
“Just oil me up,”

The Swiss Army Ghoul obliges her, and goes about pouring the tanning oil into his hands, then rubbing down her back and shoulder blades. The Sister gives a deep and pleased sigh, enjoying the touch and the scent of the oil, good and familiar. She wants it to last forever, but nothing does. When he finishes, Swiss wipes his hands on a bandana he keeps in his pocket.

“All set,” He says, swooping around to kiss her cheek.

“Thank you,” she says sweetly. As she does, her eyes flick up to the window. Copia is still watching them.  
“How shall I ever repay the favor?”

“Come dancing with me again,” He says in her ear.  
“You won’t get in trouble this time, now that you’re the Cardinal’s pet,”

Serafina blushes. How many of the Ghouls know? And how do they know? Do they smell Copia on her or something?

“Saturday,” She replies, unable to resist the Siren Call of the Club, or the idea of a night of fun with the Ghoul.  
“Now get back to your shrubs,”

Swiss chuckles, and kisses her other cheek, before strutting back over to the other Ghouls. She watches him for a little bit, and then puts on her heart shaped sunglasses. Time to soak up the sun. Over her music she can hear the Nameless Ghouls get back to work. Through the shadowy tint of her glasses, she can see that Copia is still in the window, his gaze never wavering. The show’s over; why’s he still there? What could possibly so thrilling about her lying here like bacon in a pan? Is he waiting for more? Should she give him more? A little nip slip, perhaps? Her hand starts to move towards her bikini top, when she hears a pair of feet pounding in her direction.

The Cardinal watches in wonder as the Aether Ghoul abruptly throws down the hose he’s using to water the plants, and picks a poppy, the prettiest one in the bunch. What’s he doing? Flower held delicately between his ringed fingers, the Ghoul ambles over to Sister Serafina and flops onto the blanket beside her.

The Sister glances over when she feels Aether settle in beside her. He’s grinning like a fool; she can see that through the mouth opening of his mask. What does he want?

“Can I help you?” She asks, rolling onto her side to face him. His mask is gleaming in the sun, and his eyes are twinkling with good humor.

“If it’s the way you help Cardinal Copia, then certainly,” The Ghoul says with a wink.

Sister Serafina groans. Are all the Ghouls obsessed with her arrangement with the Cardinal? She misses a time when the Ghouls she bedded didn’t make commentary on her role as Maitresse en titre to various Church leaders. Oh wait; she’s never had a Ghoul who could mind his own damn business. But she’s fond of Aether. When Papa was deposed, and she took to her bed in grief, it was Aether who brought her meals and brushed the knots from her hair. His simple kindness, while many others were gloating over her fall from Pinnacle to Pit, had earned him her loyalty and friendship. And if they occasionally celebrated that friendship with a roll in the sheets, well, what was the harm in that?

“Maybe later,” Serafina giggles, then she spies the poppy in the Ghoul’s hand.  
“Is that for me? Or did one of those _diablos_ give it to you?”

“Phrasing,” Aether interjects, and they share a laugh together.

Up above, Copia envies the pair’s intimacy. The Ghoul is casually walking his fingers up the side of Sister Serafina’s thigh and hip, as if they’ve lain like this together a hundred times. He can easily see them acting like this in bed together, in the afterglow of lovemaking. His gut goes sour at the thought.

“Yes, it’s for you,” Aether says, oblivious to the mismatched eyes watching him and the Sister.  
“I thought it would look absolutely ravishing in your hair,”

Serafina blushes in pleasure. Always such a sweet one, this Ghoul.

“Oh, Aether…thank you,” She says softly, almost shyly.

He fixes the poppy behind her ear, burying it in her thick, dark hair. The gentle brush of his fingers makes her scalp tingle, sending pleasurable shivers down her spine.

Copia turns away from the sweet scene below him, his stomach churning with emotions he cannot name. He’s not sure he can keep watching her canoodle with the Aether Ghoul much longer. Besides, he really should try to finish writing his sermon. Serafina doesn’t notice his departure; she’s distracted by Aether running his thumb down her lip. She wonders if he’ll kiss her, but his lips only brush against her forehead. A fond gesture; she closes her eyes in the joy of it.

“I have to get back to the plants,” The Ghoul purrs.  
“Meet me in the common room for a drink tonight?”

“Sure,” Serafina grins.  
“I’ll be extra thirsty tonight,”

Aether chuckles, and lifts himself off the blanket. He blows her a kiss, and then returns to his duties, picking up the still running hose. The Sister rolls onto her back to resume sunbathing. Lady Gaga has started playing on her mix CD (she’s kind of old school). She has not yet noticed Copia’s absence, she’s too busy singing along, enjoying the warmth of the sun and the beauty of the day.

The Cardinal cannot write, not when the throbbing sound of Lady Gaga is coming into his windows. It’s hard to write praises to your Dark Lord and Master when a tiny, glittery Italian woman is singing about her Poker Face, and Bluffin’ with Her Muffin. He can hear Serafina and the Ghouls singing along. For the second time, he is getting up from his desk and walking to the window to look out. The Ghouls are have gone back to doing their chores (thank Lucifer), and Sister Serafina is stretched out on her blanket. She bears a striking resemblance to the feral Church cats, when they sleep unfurled in the sun, her expression proud and pleased. Arranged thus, he can better admire her lush curves, and her golden brown tan. He cannot take her eyes off of her, she looks absolutely delicious.

Serafina’s mouth is dry. The heat, and the singing have left her parched; she really should go grab some water. She props herself up on her elbows, preparing to get up, when she spies Copia in the window. Has he been there the whole time, keeping a weird vigil? If he had left his post, she never noticed. Their eyes meet briefly, and she see hunger in his gaze. She forgot she’d been playing Tease the Cardinal, she’d been distracted by Aether’s flower, and the music. But now that she remembers what she’d been doing, she gets a wonderfully wicked idea.

“Ember? _Mi cielo_?” Sister Serafina calls in a honeyed tone. It’s one she picked up from her mother and grandmother, a tone that gets husbands to mow the lawn or take you somewhere nice. She finds it surprisingly effective on the Ghouls.

Copia watches in awe as the Fire Ghoul bounds over to the Sister like an eager puppy. Does she have all the Ghouls wrapped around her well-manicured fingers? How do they obey her so sweetly, when they still growl at him?

For the same reason you had her probation lifted early, the same reason you’ve been buying her new lingerie, the Cardinal thinks to himself. Because there’s something about the way she looks at you, the way she touches you, that makes you want to give her whatever she wants. Because there’s something about her that makes you want to give her the whole world if that’s what she wanted.

Ember drops to his knees and crawls over to Sister Serafina, straddling her thighs. He drapes his slight body over hers, not caring if he gets tanning oil on his uniform. The Sister doesn’t throw him off of her, but smiles indulgently at his boldness. Copia’s face burns in envy. The other Ghouls are watching, playfully scolding the Fire Ghoul.

“Oh how can I please you _alskling_?” Ember purrs, pinning her wrists to the beach blanket.

Serafina gasps at the simple but dominant gesture, and it is a gasp of lust. Stupid, sexy Fire Ghoul.

“Bring me a popsicle, _por favor_,” She says, trying not to sound breathless.

“What?” Ember sounds genuinely surprised.

“Bring me a popsicle,” The Sister repeats.

“Why?” He asks. Stubborn Ghoul!

“Because I’ll make it worth your while, and you know it,” She says.

Ember makes a long “hmmmm” as if he’s thinking. Serafina gives his ass a firm smack. The Ghoul growls and bucks his hips.

“Now _vamos_…” She orders, her voice firm, yet somehow gentle.

Without hesitation, Ember leaps up and sprints in the direction of the Church kitchens, where a large chest freezer held a variety of ice creams and popsicles. He’s fast as a fox. The Cardinal cannot quite believe what he has just witnessed. She’s like a Satanic Scarlett O’Hara, surrounded by a bevy of doting demonic suitors. How does she do it? Even Swiss and Aether are mildly astonished by Ember’s obedience. He can be a stubborn and willful little shit, sometimes.

Within minutes, the lithe Ghoul has returned, having used his inhumane speed to get to the kitchens as fast as possible. In his hand is an unwrapped Rocket Pop, gleaming red, white and blue in the summer sun. Some has dripped onto Ember’s long, talented, and popular, fingers. When Serafina see him she sits up excitedly, and gives a short clap.

“Ooh you brought me my favorite kind!” She coos, giving a pleased little wiggle of her hips.

“Yes I did,” The Fire Ghoul says, kneeling between her bent legs, nestling his narrow body between her thick thighs.

Gently, he takes her chin in his free hand, and holds the tip of the Popsicle to her lips. There’s a hush, everyone is watching them.

“Take it, it’s dripping all over my hand,” Ember says in a tone that makes Sister Serafina instantly, and embarrassingly wet.

She look up at the Cardinal above them, and hears the low, pleased growls of Aether and Swiss. Then finally she looks at the Ghoul in front of her, his eyes burning with desire.

“Phrasing,” she quips, not caring if she’s used it too many times today.

Then she does as commanded, and sucks the pop into her mouth. It’s cold and sweet, the beloved taste of cherry coating her tongue. Her eyes close in pleasure. The Ghouls have completely abandoned their work to watch their comrade feed the Sister a popsicle in a highly suggestive manner. Copia stifles a groan of desire. He cannot help but be reminded of the ‘Pep Talks’ she gives him right before Mass, using her hands and mouth, to bring him to completion. Sometimes she does it while he’s rehearsing his sermon. It helps him relax, build his confidence, and he loves the way he looks at her…  
“Good girl,” Ember grows softly, the hand on her chin sliding down to gently grasp her throat while she sucks and licks the frozen summertime treat.

Serafina isn’t sure how she feels about having him do this in front of an audience. Usually she can be very adventurous, but occasionally she catches herself feeling a sudden reflux of Catholic Guilt. This is one of those times. A fit of pique and defiance floods her. Abruptly, she bites off the Popsicle’s tip, taking half of the red part. The Ghoul is startled by this sudden and vaguely threatening gesture and Sister Serafina uses the opportunity to snatch the pop from his hand and push the other away from her throat. She glares at him, and catches the melty Popsicle drips with her tongue. Finally she speaks.

“You depraved little fuck goblin!” Serafina exclaims.  
“You know I only do that on Fridays! What day is today?”

“Tuesday,” Ember mumbles.

“It’s Tuesday,” She confirms.

She takes another suck at her Popsicle. There is a brief and awkward silence.

“Thank you for bringing me this,” Serafina says at last.

“It melted on my fingers,” The Fire Ghoul says shortly.

“Aww, poor baby,” The Sister coos sarcastically.

“You should clean me up,” He growls.

Serafina grins. Without a word, she takes Ember’s wrist in her hand, and sucks each Popsicle sticky finger into her mouth one by one, licking them clean. The Ghoul watches, amused and aroused. Nor can Aether and Swiss take their eyes from the scene unfolding before them, wondering how much further the pair is going to go with this weird ass Popsicle shit. Sister Serafina can feel Copia’s eyes burning into her, and she can’t help but glance up to get a look at him. He’s practically leaning out the window, one of his hands hidden below the window sill. What the...? Could he be jacking it up there?

Copia palms his hardness through his black cassock, practically dizzy with lust. In interest of the weather, the Cardinal had worn his thinnest linen vestments, with nothing beneath them. This and the breezes from the open window had kept him comfortable, but now he’s burning with desire and envy, and nothing can soothe him.

When he’s cleaned up, Ember slides his hand down Serafina’s throat and collarbones, stopping at her chest. He cups one of her breasts, and gives it a firm, possessive squeeze that makes her whimper in desire.

“I do believe you said you’d make it worth my while,” the Ghoul says in a low voice.

“I did,” The Sister gasps.  
“What would please you?”

“I haven’t decided yet,” He says softly.  
“But it starts with a kiss,”

Ember leans in and captures her lips with his. As always, Serafina thanks Lucifer for the current mask design. The Fire Ghoul deepens the kiss with his tongue and kneads the breast in his hand. The Sister can’t help herself, she moans into his mouth. As she does, she can feel the eyes of Copia and the other Ghouls boring into her. She wonders what the Cardinal must make of all this. Does he remember what she told him? That there’s enough of her to go around? That her fondness for the Ghouls has no effect on any feelings she might have for him?

Copia is stands frozen at the window sill, reeling with lust and envy. He cannot go back to writing his sermon, he cannot think of anything except how much he wants Sister Serafina. But she’s literally just beyond his reach, and occupied with the Fire Ghoul. Maybe more, considering the way the other two are just…lurking about the kissing pair, like tomcats after a female in heat. Will they join in? Would the Sister be so bold as to take on three Ghouls in broad daylight?

At last, Sister Serafina breaks the kiss to come up for air. Ember takes her hand and places it on the hard bulge straining against his trousers. He may have a slight and lithe build, but the Ghoul is big where it counts. Serafina calls him the Little Teapot with a Big Spout when she’s drunk.

“Tell me, Sister…” He growls in her ear.  
“Shall we slip away somewhere quiet? Or should I fuck you right here in front of everyone?”

Sister Serafina genuinely isn’t sure how she should answer that. The sensible choice would be to slip away, find a secluded spot, but part of her is deeply thrilled at the thought of having the Ghoul fuck her right here in broad daylight. Church orgies are one thing, but this act of exhibitionism would be on a whole other level. But before she can make any kind of decision, a familiar voice rings out.

“Sister Serafina! My office! Right now!”

Sister and Ghouls look up at Copia, surprised. Even he’s surprised by what he’s just done. Between watching Ember practically maul the Sister, and the sight of uneven neglected shrubs, the Cardinal isn’t sure how much more he can take. Besides, she is distracting the Ghouls from their chores, and what would happen if Sister Imperator or anyone else came upon them? He’s doing the right thing, he really is.

Serafina gives a long sigh. What the fuck? Is he seriously doing this? Is he really going to be this insecure and petty?

“And you three!” The Cardinal continues.  
“Back to work!”

Ember helps Sister Serafina up off the blanket. She has the same sinking feeling she used to get whenever she and her friends would get caught drinking beer and smoking weed in the woods.

“Later,” She whispers to the Ghoul.

He nods in agreement, and joins his comrades. The Fire Ghoul flips Copia the bird as he goes, but the Cardinal doesn’t see it, not while he’s watching the Sister put on her shorts and sandals and turn off her music. She moves slowly, pulling up her cut offs without bothering to button or zip them, they’re so snug she knows they won’t slide off while she’s walking. Then she steps into her wedges, one at a time. Her boombox, blanket and tote bag she’ll leave behind, knowing the Ghouls we’ll keep an eye on them for her. Theft is a rare occurrence at the Church, anyway. Popsicle melting in one hand, Sister Serafina sadly waves farewell to her companions, and heads towards the Cardinal’s office.


	2. Part Two: Electric Boogaloo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After distracting him from working on his sermon, Copia summons Sister Serafina to his office after watching her get frisky and flirty with a pack of Ghouls. What will happen once they're alone?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's part two. It's not the Equinox yet, so it's still technically summer (and almost spring in some parts of the globe).  
As always, I own nothing, make no profit, and no one is intended to resemble any actual person.

Serafina walks down the abbey corridors slowly, her wedges clacking against the stone floors. She idly works on her rocket pop, unimpeded by the games of naughty Ghouls. She randomly remembers the summer she was 17, spending her days on the Revere Beach boardwalk. She wore Candies wooden mules, and subsisted on French fries, pizza slices and Italian ice. She smoked shitty weed and wondered about her future, never imagining that she’d end up as a nun in a Satanic Church. It was a world without Cardinals, Papas or Ghouls. It was a world she hasn’t been a part of in six years.

Meanwhile, Copia paces his office waiting for the Sister’s arrival. He wonders if perhaps he should have fetched her himself, instead of letting come on her own. He wouldn’t put it past her to just…not show up. Should he go look for her? Yes, that’s a good idea. But before he can do anything, he hears a short knock on the door. With a deep breath, the Cardinal goes to answer.

Sister Serafina is standing in the doorway, petulantly sucking on her Popsicle. The red is all gone, and she’s now busily working on the white part, tart lemon offsetting the sweet cherry. Her eyes are on him, and there is only annoyance in her gaze. She’s not happy with him, and Copia’s stomach sinks with misery at this revelation.

“You summoned me, Cardinal?” Serafina asks, her voice as cold as the pop. Her lips are stained red, and he so badly wants to taste them, but the ice in her tone keeps him away.

“Yes,” Copia says, hardening his own voice. Two can play at that game, he supposes.  
“Come in,”

He steps aside to let Sister Serafina pass, but she walks as close to him as possible, her shoulder brushing up against his chest and leaving a smear of tanning oil. She looks him in the eye the entire time, running her tongue along the length of the Rocket Pop. She smells like coconut and something else, something tangy and fruity. Is it the popsicle? Her shampoo? Either way, she smells utterly delicious.

Serafina stands in the center of his office, her free hand planted on her hip, angrily sucking the pop. She looks strangely beautiful and defiant, and Copia finds himself annoyed and besotted with her all at once. Finally, she breaks the silence, her voice so cold for such a hot day.

“Do you want to tell me what the fuck that was all about?” She bursts out.

“I could ask you the same thing,” the Cardinal replies, circling her slowly, hands clasped behind his back. They are naked; it’s too hot for gloves.

Sister Serafina’s eyes flick over to his bare hands. She hasn’t told him yet, but she absolutely adores his hands, long and nimble, with one finger callused from years of writing. There’s a rumor that it was Cardinal Copia who wrote most of the Third’s sermons for him. It would not surprise her if it were true. Papa was not a fan of hard work.

“I was working on my tan,” Serafina says, mustering an innocent tone, and moving her gaze from Copia’s hands to his face, making sure she’s got her most clueless facial expression on.

Copia gives a short, sardonic laugh. Does she think he’s stupid? Does she think she can play dumb with him?

“You were distracting the Ghouls from their assigned tasks,” He says firmly.

His tone reminds Sister Serafina of the first time she got sent to his office. He was trying so hard to be a stern authoritarian then, and he’s doing it again now. She cannot help but laugh.

“Oh puh-lease. Those guys can get distracted by anything. Last week, Ember got stuck in a tree while chasing a squirrel. They’re as bad as the Church cats,” The Sister scoffs.

She pauses to work on her popsicle some more. Then, like earlier, she takes a sudden and ferocious bite of it. Good-bye white. Now she’s left with the blue, and blue is best. Copia does not miss the mild threat in the gesture, and nervously swallows. She’s in a mood; perhaps angry that he interrupted her moment with Ember.

“You weren’t discouraging their attention,” The Cardinal says at last.

Serafina laughs again, a musical and irritating sound.

“Is that what this is about?” She asks incredulously.  
“Are you jealous? Because we’ve been over this, before Copia…"

“That’s Cardinal to you,” He says in a low voice.  
“And the Ghouls weren’t the only ones who got distracted by your…your little peep show,”

Sister Serafina chuckles, and glances over at his desk. There’s a stack of Satanic texts, and scattering of papers, some of them crumpled.

“Writer’s block again?” She smirks.

Recently, Copia had begun summoning her whenever he had trouble writing a sermon. Sometimes he only wanted her opinion, or her perspective on a subject. Other times he needed a different sort of inspiration, and Serafina would provide assistance on her back or knees. Serafina wonders if he has an ulterior motive for summoning her up here.

“I cannot write when you and the Ghouls are making all that noise,” The Cardinal says flatly.

Sister Serafina’s eyes drift downward, and she sees a distinct and familiar bulge under his cassock. Distracted indeed, she thinks, catching popsicle drips on her tongue.

“It’s probably not easy trying to write when you got a big ol’ erection, either,” Serafina quips.  
“You’re pitching quite the tent there, buddy,”

Copia flushes red, but doesn’t say anything. What can he say?

“What got you all excited?” The Sister taunts, starting to move in closer to him.

She plants a hand on Copia’s chest and starts backing him towards the couch. She finishes the rocket pop as she does so, and idly tosses the stick into his wastebasket. The Cardinal stares at her mouth, stained a light purple now. She’s grinning like a fox.

“Was it when I was going to town on that Popsicle?” Sister Serafina asks, planting her now free hand on her hip.  
“Did it make you think of me sucking your cock?”

He blushes deeper, and mumbles something. She gives a wicked little giggle. She’ll take that as a yes.

“Was it watching me get all oiled up?” She continues, running her hand up her stomach, to teasingly cup one of her breasts.

Copia mumbles again, and feels the back of his calves bump into the couch. The Sister pushes him gently, and he hits the cushions with a soft thump. Then she turns around and settles onto his lap, grinding her ass against his cock. She reaches behind him to twine her arms around his neck. He bites his lip, overwhelmed by the feel of her, by the tropical scents wafting from her skin and hair.

“Or…was it when Ember was kissing me?” Serafina purrs, leaning back and pressing against him, grinding harder. She cranes her neck and turns her head so she can plant teasing nips and kisses to his jaw and earlobe. The Cardinal stifles a groan.  
“I know you were jealous, but were you also turned on? I bet if I asked him, he’d let you watch…”

“You were creating a distraction…” Copia grunts, trying not to imagine the scenario she’s proposed, and failing. His cock twitches under her.

“Oh, you liked it,” the Sister giggles.  
“Otherwise you wouldn’t have stood at the window watching me like a perv...”

Serafina squeals when the Cardinal suddenly flips her onto her stomach, pinning her in his lap. Her upper body rests on one side of the couch, her legs on the other. She can feel his cock pressing into her, and one of his hands comes to rest on her ass.

“You were causing others to abandon their duties,” Copia continues, tugging at her shorts and bikini bottoms down around her thighs. He pauses to rub and squeeze her ass appreciatively.  
“And you were distracting your Cardinal from his important work.”

“You mean, I gave you boner,” Serafina retorts, ever the bratty smartass.

Copia growls, and his hand whistles through the air, delivering a firm smack to her ass. The Sister yelps and bucks her hips as the familiar sting spreads through her flesh.

“Hereby, you are officially being punished for creating a spectacle that is disruptive to the harmony and routine of daily life in the Church,” The Cardinal announces, surprisingly grave for someone with a half-naked woman in his lap.

“You’re punishing me for flirting with the Ghouls,” Serafina snorts.

Copia spanks her a second time. He relishes the little cry she produces, the little kick of her feet. One of her sandals falls off, hitting the floor with a loud clonk.

“It doesn’t matter what you were doing,” He grunts in a combination of arousal and frustration.  
A third blow lands on her ass, and Serafina cries out again, her flesh burning with exquisite pain. Sweet Satan, he’s got a hard hand today! She can feel his envy, lust and frustration in each smack. What has she gotten herself into?

“You caused a disruption to the day’s routine,” Copia adds.

His hand comes down again, number four, this one harder than the others. The Sister jolts forward from the force of it, the flower Aether gave her falls out of her hair. She reaches for it, but a fifth firm smack to her ass distracts her, making her grip the couch cushion instead. The couch muffles her scream. Through it all, Serafina can still feel the Cardinal’s cock pressed into her stomach. Deviously, she rubs and wiggles against him, making him growl at the friction, and the tanning oil stains. Copia goes into a kind of frenzy then, raining blow after blow to Sister Serafina’s ample buttocks; they both lose count.

When his hand starts to sting, the Cardinal stops and looks down at the woman in his lap. Serafina has her face buried in the couch cushion, and she’s trembling in desire. Slowly, Copia strokes her reddened ass, hoping to soothe her somewhat; she makes a soft whimper.

“Good girl,” The Cardinal rasps.  
“You took that very well,”

Weakly, Serafina raises her fist to make a thumbs-up gesture. The pain is starting to fade, leaving only the desire. Copia’s hand travels downward, stroking the back of her thigh, before sliding back up to rub her ass again.

“I think you’ve earned a reward, haven’t you?” He asks, tenderly.

Those eight words mean one thing. Sister Serafina is about to get fucked real good.

“Damn straight,” She says, lifting her head from the cushion.

The Cardinal chuckles indulgently, and sets about pulling her shorts and bikini bottoms all the way off, flinging them aside. His fingers dip between her legs, sweet Lucifer, she’s wet. At this simple touch, the Sister bucks her hips and moans; it’s music to his ears.

“What shall I do with you, cara?” Copia asks, the pad of his middle finger circling her clit, slow and teasing.

“Anything you want,” Serafina gasps.

“Anything?” The Cardinal smirks.

He pulls her up and into his lap, and she straddles him, grinding herself against his cock through the thin fabric of his summer cassock. She’s so turned on; she leaves a distinct and sizable damp spot as she does so. Copia captures her lips in a hard and greedy kiss, his tongue plunging into her mouth. One hand grabs her ass, while the other drifts between her legs. His fingers thrust inside her, and Sister Serafina moans into his mouth as he curls his fingers sharply, hitting that sweet spot. After a moment, he breaks the kiss.

“I want them to hear you.” The Cardinal rasps.  
“I want them to hear what I can do to you,”

Serafina glances over at the open window. Outside, the Ghouls are still doing their chores; she can hear the spray of the house, and the sound of the weed whacker.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” The Sister says, incredulously. What egotistical bullshit is this?

Copia’s thumb finds her clit, and starts making lazy, teasing circles. This makes her gasp a little, but that’s all.

“I want them to hear you scream my name,” He continues, with a soft growl.

“And what if I decide to stay quiet?” Sister Serafina sniffs.  
“After all, we’re supposed to be keeping this our dirty little secret,”

“Challenge accepted,” The Cardinal replies with an indulgent chuckle.  
“But you won’t be able to stay silent…”

His fingers move faster, and he lowers his mouth to her neck, ignoring the taste of suntan oil so he can leave a trail of bites on her skin. He briefly wonders if the concoction on her skin is harmful if ingested, but Copia pushes the thought away, his dick and his pride driving him. But Serafina has her mouth set in a hard line. Frustrating; going for her neck usually turns her into a moaning and gasping mess. He bites her harder, marking her up as he likes to do. The Cardinal wants everyone to see them; if she won’t make any noise, he can at least leave visuals. He moves the hand not currently buried between the Sister’s legs, from her ass, to her chest. Roughly, he pulls her bikini top down, exposing her breasts. He cups one of them, his thumb and forefinger teasing the nipple into a stiff peak. Copia’s mouth moves downward, and he latches onto the other nipple, sucking and biting the sensitive bud. Serafina still doesn’t make a sound, but he can feel her trembling, feel her nails digging into his shoulders. He looks into her face; she’s biting her lip hard, her eyes shut tight.

“Still won’t moan for me, hmm?” Copia grunts against her flesh. Then, he has a wicked idea, the perfect way to get what he wants from her.

Sister Serafina is surprised but silent when the Cardinal suddenly withdraws his fingers from her, and lies down on the couch. It’s an absurdly spacious piece of furniture, as if it had been made to specifically for fucking. She is further surprised, and pleased, when Copia positions her so her knees are on either side of his head, and her pussy is inches from his face, practically dripping with arousal. She looks down at him, his face framed by her thick thighs, and sees he’s wearing that ravenous expression of his, gazing at her like she’s a work of art. Then, he pulls her down onto his mouth, crushing her against his face. His sizable nose brushes against her clit, and he eagerly laps at her slick folds. Fuck, it feels good. Serafina bites her index finger, desperate not to give the Cardinal the moans he craves.

Copia growls in frustration; damn her! What does he have to do to get her to moan? He moves his mouth up higher, capturing her clit between his lips. He alternates between suckling the sensitive bundle of nerves, and swirling his tongue over it, a move that’s never failed to get her wailing his name. The Sister’s hips buck, and her hand flies down to grasp at the Cardinal’s hair. But still she muffles herself, fighting the urge to give in, to just open her mouth and let all sorts of obscene noises come falling out, like diamonds or frogs in a fairy tale.

Determined to break her silence, Copia increases the pressure and speed of his lips and tongue. Serafina bites her finger harder, but a small whimper sneaks out from between her teeth. The Cardinal feels a small swell of triumph; it’s not a big loud moan or scream, but it’s something. It’s a start. He continues to torment her with pleasure, his hands gripping her hips and ass tightly, keeping the Sister pressed to his face. Copia can feel her start to tremble again, and that small whimper has devolved into a pattern of panting and breath holding. The latter is an especially promising reaction; she’s definitely getting close.

The Cardinal is like a relentless beast, sucking and licking with an intensity that makes it harder and harder for Sister Serafina to stay silent. Aside from the panting, she’s starting to make these obscene little whining noises that are incredibly difficult to hold back. The hand she’s been using to stifle herself moves downward to join the one that’s gripping his hair. As she gets closer and closer to coming, she can’t help it; she rocks her hips against Copia’s face with an urgency that makes him chuckle. This adds an interesting vibration to his oral ministrations, and it pushes the Sister over the edge. She comes hard, drenching the Cardinal in a deluge of fluid. As the waves of ecstasy wash over her, Serafina can’t help it, she moans. It’s long, it’s loud, and there’s no doubt that the Ghouls outside will hear it.

“Fuck,” She groans in defeat.

Copia, despite having come perilously close to drowning, cannot help but feel another, bigger swell of triumph. Look who ended up moaning after all!

“That was very good,” He says, sliding out from under the Sister in one fluid motion.  
“But I still want them to hear you scream my name, and you haven’t done that, yet,”

The Cardinal is kneeling behind her now, one hand sliding up and down her curves, while the other fumbles with cassock. He fishes out his cock, and presses it firmly against Sister Serafina’s ass.

“Maybe I will, maybe I won’t” The Sister says stubbornly.

“Oh, you will,” Copia growls, reaching up and around to cup her breasts, giving them a firm squeeze.  
Serafina can feel his breath on her neck, his teeth nipping at her earlobe. She is reminded of the first time they ever fucked, right in this very office. She thinks of it every time he bites her ear.

“Now, get on your hands and knees.” He commands.

She obeys, resting her elbows on the arms of the couch, while the Cardinal positions her hips and spreads her thighs. Her other sandal finally falls off, and hits the floor. Neither of them notices, not when he’s rubbing the tip of his cock against her entrance.

“Good girl,” Copia purrs, using a tone that never fails to make Sister Serafina melt.

Then, he enters her with a single hard thrust, the force of it making her jolt forward a little. Serafina moans, feeling deliciously stretched and full. She can feel the Cardinal’s fingers digging into her hips as he starts to move, his pace fast and merciless. He’s full of a primal lust, a thirst only the Sister can quench. Copia can have his pick of many willing people in the Church, but Sister Serafina is the only one he wants right now.

Serafina grips the arm of the couch as he rams into her; she can hear his hips slapping against her ass, his fingernails scoring her flesh. Each thrust, each snap of his pelvis forces a loud moan or gasp from her lips. He’s being utterly merciless with her, and oh sweet Satan, she loves it.

“That’s right my delicious pet, moan for your Cardinal,” Copia grunts.  
“Let the Ghouls know how good I make you feel,”

“You egotistical fuck,” the Sister pants, boldly.

The Cardinal slaps her ass in response, hard enough to leave a handprint. Serafina yelps, and swears softly in Spanish.

“Mouthy slut,” he growls, and delivers another hard spank.

“Yes, I am,” She manages to gasp, pride in her voice even now.  
“And you like it,”

Very few of Sister Serafina’s lovers knew of her penchant for being called degrading names during the throes of passion. It wasn’t something she indulged in very often, and if anyone called her such things in a non-sexual context, they would instantly regret it. But when Copia calls her a slut while they’re fucking, well that’s another story altogether.

The Cardinal chuckles at her retort, and reaches up to grasp her hair, wrapping it around his fist so he can give it a good pull. Serafina moans, and swears some more. Oh Beelzebub, she loves it when her shy, awkward Rat Boy gets rough with her. She loves that underneath all his eccentricities, the boombox with his own theme music, the late night tricycle rides through the Abbey corridors, is a feral beast who fucks like a demon. The hand not tugging on her hair drifts between her legs and finds her clit, rubbing and grinding at the ultra-sensitive bundle of nerves.

“Oh dear fuck,” The Sister groans loudly. Any pretense of silence has literally gone out the window. She’ll moan, groan and howl as she pleases, but Serafina will be saved if she says the Cardinal’s name like he wants her to. She doesn’t know how the Ghouls feel overhearing all of this as it is, especially Ember, considering the state she left him in. Later, Sister Serafina will have to find a way to make it up to him.

“Come on,” Copia grunts.  
“Say my name,”

The hand between her legs moves faster and he pulls her hair harder. But The Sister still doesn’t say his name. Instead, she does something he probably should have expected. She turns her head to look back at him, her eyes blazing.

“No! You say my name!” Sister Serafina growls.

She rocks her hips against his, meeting him thrust for thrust.

“You wanted me so bad that you ordered me up here, knowing damn well I was busy! So you’re gonna say my name!” She continues.

It is a bold and ballsy move, turning the tables on Copia like this. But the Cardinal can’t say he doesn’t like it. No other Sister would dare to do as Serafina does. It’s what he lo- likes about her.

“Is that so?” Copia rasps.

His hands move to her hips, and he pulls Sister Serafina into his lap, her back pressed against his chest and stomach. He rolls his hips into her slowly, and the Sister gives a deep pleased moan at this new angle and different rhythm. She can feel his name on the tip of her tongue; she could so easily give the Cardinal what he wants. Hoping to distract herself, Serafina reaches back to twine her arms around his necks, and tilts back to capture Copia’s mouth with hers. He groans as she pushes her tongue against his, and then groans deeper still when she starts to tighten her inner muscles around his cock. Wrapping his arms around her waist, Copia starts to move a little faster.

“Let’s make this interesting,” the Sister says abruptly, when she breaks the kiss to come up for air.

The Cardinal gives a small chuckle. As if their situation wasn’t interesting enough.

“We’ll make a bet,” She continues.  
“Whoever gets their name said first gets to be Dom during our next…session. Do we have a deal?”

Copia pauses to consider her proposal. Win or lose, he’s going to enjoy himself. He remembers the time Serafina tied him to the bed with her stockings. He wouldn’t mind doing that again.

“Ground Control to Major Tom?” The Sister says, bringing him back to the present with a skilled twist and swivel of her hips. She often uses this phrase whenever she wants his attention.

“Do we have a deal?” Sister Serafina repeats.

The Cardinal agrees with an eagerness that makes her grin. She’s figures that it doesn’t matter who wins or loses, they’ll end up having a lot of fun either way. Serafina has learned that Copia is surprisingly versatile, able to dominate or submit at the turn of a hat.

“Very good.” She purrs.  
“Now ready, set, and may the best woman win,”

Copia snorts in amusement at her boldness, and starts to grind and roll his hips in lazy, teasing circles. Serafina responds with some moves of her own, resuming the trick with her inner muscles. The Cardinal groans, but resists saying her name, even though the syllables are trying to dance off tongue with each clench of her walls.

“D-damn you,” He gasps.

He moves his hips a little harder, a little faster, and one hand flies up to cup one of her breasts. The Sister practically howls in delight, and turns her head to look at him.

“Damn you too,” Serafina pants back, before kissing him hard, pulling Copia’s full lower lip with her teeth.

They move together in perfect accord, desperate to see who will break first. But Sister Serafina and the Cardinal are both stubborm and determined, neither willing to cave. Eventually, however, they start to lost themselves in each other, temporarily forgetting the bet altogether in the pursuit of pleasure.  
In a blur of hands, mouths and flesh, the Sister finds herself being thrown on her back, hitting the leather cushions with a soft thump. Copia descends upon her, and Serafina tugs and fumbles at the buttons on the front of his cassock.

“You dumb Fuck,” She pants, getting frustrated.  
“You have too many stupid fucking buttons.”

Impatiently, Sister Serafina rips the garment, sending buttons flying everywhere. There is an awkward pause, as Copia stares at her in shock.

“You naughty girl,” He finally scolds, still in disbelief that she’s done such a thing.

“Whoops,” The Sister giggles, her hands sliding over his exposed chest, fingers tugging gently at the little patch of hair she’s come to adore.  
“You better punish me,”

Serafina reaches between them, and grasps his cock in her hand so she can guide the Cardinal back inside her. He gives a low, pleased moan as he buries himself to the hilt. Sweet Lucifer, she feels fantastic. Copia starts to move again, slowly at first, then faster and faster, dropping his face into her neck.

“Do the Thing,” He pants, after a little bit.

Sister Serafina knows exactly what he means. She tightens herself around his length again, massaging him with her inner muscles. She can’t remember when or where she picked up this little signature move of hers, but she’s found that her partners love it, and often ask for it. It’s beneficial to her as well, often helping her have better, and more frequent climaxes.

“_Grazie_,” Copia sighs against her skin.

His hand slides down to where their bodies are joined and he shows his gratitude by pressing the heel of his palm against her clit, and grinding softly. Serafina shudders and bucks underneath the Cardinal, her hands sliding under his cassock, her nails scratching his shoulders and back. He hisses, but he doesn’t stop pumping into her, nor does his hand cease its ministrations.

“Oh Satan yes,” The Sister gasps.  
“Keep doing that, don’t you dare stop…”

Copia could easily torment her by pulling his hand away, or slowing his frenzied pace. He could stop altogether, that would be especially wicked. But he doesn’t; he really enjoys pleasing her like this. Besides, Serafina’s clinging to him in a way that makes him feel all melty inside. Not that He would ever admit that. So he doesn’t stop, and soon enough, the Cardinal can feel her start to shake underneath him, her walls involuntarily clenching as she is seized by _le petit mort_.

“Co...ooooh yes!” Sister Serafina wails. Remembering their bet just in time, she manages to catch herself, even in the throes of ecstasy.

Copia does not notice her fumble, preoccupied with riding out the waves of her climax. His own is not far off. As the Sister comes down, trying to catch her breath, the Cardinal pulls out of her. With a few quick strokes, he brings himself to completion, releasing several hot spurts that land on Serafina’s breasts and stomach. Without thinking, Copia lets her name tumble from his lips in an almost reverent groan. The Sister can’t help but grin in triumph.

“I win,” She says, her eyes glazed with pleasure.

Coming out of his haze, The Cardinal doesn’t even hear her at first; he’s distracted, his eyes drifting over Sister Serafina with something like adoration. He likes seeing her this way, panting softly and covered in his unholy seed. But after a moment, Copia processes her simple words, and it finally dawns on him. He remembers the bet, and realizes he’s lost.

“Yes, I suppose you do,” Copia says at last, tucking himself back into his cassock.

“Then I suppose you know what that means don’t you?” Sister Serafina says, glancing down at the glaze of semen on her skin. She feels like a toaster strudel.

“Mistress Serafina is going to make me her bitch?” The Cardinal ventures, getting up from the couch.

He can hear the loose buttons from his cassock hit the floor. Serafina gives a solemn nod.

“_Si_, Mistress Serafina is going to make you her bitch,” She confirms.

Copia chuckles, and offers her his hand.

“I can’t wait,” He says, and means it. He really does anticipate the prospect of her dominating him for an evening.

Serafina lets him help her up, and she glances down at the couch cushions. They’re smeared with tanning oil and splattered with her juices. She’s destroyed yet another piece of furniture in the Church.

“I’m sorry about your couch,” The Sister says, biting her lip.

“No worried, I had it Scottish Guarded,” Copia replies confidently.

“Scottish Guarded?” She raises an eyebrow.

“You know…” The Cardinal mimes a spraying motion.

“I think you mean Scotch Guarded,” She says gently.

“Oh,” Is all Copia mumbles, and then there’s an awkward silence.

“You’re going to clean me up, right?” Sister Serafina pipes up, changing the subject. She knows he will, one way or another.

“Of course,” The Cardinal says tenderly, leading her across the office floor over to the desk.

The Sister hops up and perches on the edge of the desk, her bare ass on the polished wood. As she gets comfortable, Copia opens a drawer and pulls out a package of baby wipes. He had thought such an item would be good to keep in the office, considering how messy things got whenever they got together.

“Soothing lavender,” He mumbles, reverting to his goofball status.

“You pamper me,” Serafina cannot help but giggle, amused by this new habit of his.

The Cardinal mumbles again, but she cannot hear him this time. He sets about cleaning her up, wiping his seed off her breasts and stomach, and removing traces of his face paint from various points on her body.

“Why do you like sunbathing so much?” Copia asks, out of the blue.  
“The other sisters…”

“Avoid the sun like vampires?” Sister Serafina replies, bluntly.  
“You do the same thing, you know. You only take your walks in the evening,”

She cups his cheek in her hand, admiring the contrast of her golden tan to his ghostly pallor. The Cardinal is pale from a lifetime spent in libraries or hunched over desks. He’s not a big fan of going outside; when he does, it has to night time, or cloudy. Sometimes, Copia actually does remind the Sister of a vampire, like something out of the Anne Rice novels she read voraciously as a teen.

“Yes, that’s true,” He says, snatching up her wrist and kissing it. His paint is smeared and smudged from the heat, and their exertions.  
“But this isn’t about me, this is about you. Only Fire Ghouls love the sun as much as you do, cara,”

“I’ve always like being in the sun, I guess,” Serafina shrugs.  
“Maybe it’s the Vitamin D, maybe I think I’m prettiest when my skin is darker. Who knows? Bring me my bikini bottoms and shorts, would you?”

Copia finds himself obeying, crossing to the other side of the room and scooping up the garments. Serafina marvels; The Cardinal picking up her clothes like a menial servant! He crosses back, and hands them to her with an expression that tells the Sister he quite enjoys being ordered around just a little.

“_Gracias_,” She purrs, kissing his nose and enjoying the blush that spreads across his cheeks.

Sister Serafina begins to set herself to rights, starting by fixing her bikini top. She pulls the cups back over her breasts, noting Copia’s sad expression as she does so. He always looks so forlorn when she puts her clothes back on. Serafina is about to say something about his hangdog face when she notices the damage she did on his cassock.

“Oof, sorry about that,” She says, somewhat weakly.

“It’s fine,” Copia says with a soft laugh.  
“I’ve started keeping spare vestments in here, punishing you is a messy business. And I’ll take this one to the Church Seamstress, see what she can do.”

“Careful,” The Sister grins, sliding off the desk so she can put on her bottoms.  
“Sister Alexandria is a terrible gossip, she will ask questions.”

“I’ll tell her the Church cats did it; mistook me for a rat,” The Cardinal jests.

They laugh together, and Copia thinks of when he saw Serafina laughing with the Aether Ghoul. He had envied their intimacy, but now he realizes he and the Sister share it too. There’s a strange sense of relief to be had in this knowledge. When they catch their breath, the Sister goes to collect her sandals and step back into them with practiced ease. Suddenly she stops short, and stares at the floor.

Serafina’s smile fades when she sees the poppy Aether gave her, crushed on the wine colored carpet. She picks it up, making a small sad squeak. Now it’s Copia’s turn to apologize.

“I’m sure he’ll give you another one,” He says, wringing his hands, wondering why he never thought to give her flowers.

“Probably,” Sister Serafina shrugs.  
“Flowers die anyway,”

There is a silence, not entirely awkward. The Sister glances over at the open window; she can hear spraying water, and the laughter of Ghouls.

“Can I finish working on my tan?” Serafina asks.  
“I’ll keep my music down,”

Copia does not want her to go. But he also knows that he cannot keep her in his office all day. With some reluctance, he gives his consent, and guides her to the door, his hand resting on the small of the Sister’s back.

“I’ll have to put this one your record,” The Cardinal sighs.  
“It’s so thick; the folder’s starting to split in half.”

“Get a binder,” Serafina suggests.

“I’ll keep it in mind,” Copia smiles, opening the door.

A pause. A pause, and they find themselves mashed together, kissing furiously and gloriously hard. The Cardinal clings to Sister Serafina, not wanting her to go, but not wanting to admit it. Serafina breaks their embrace, pulling herself away, careful, always so careful not to get too attached again.

“Work on your sermon,” She says gently.  
“I’ll see you later,”

The Sister Serafina’s gone; all that remains is the sound of her clacking sandals echoing throughout the corridor. Copia gives a wistful sigh, and closes his office door. He will write a sermon, an unusual sermon in which he praises the sun for ripening the fruits of temptation. No one will have heard anything like it since the First Papa’s Summer Solstice speech in 2011.

The Cardinal sits at his desk, not bothering to change out of his ripped cassock. No time, not when the muses have returned to him. What started as a distraction has given him the most unholy inspiration; Copia picks up his engraved pen. He starts to write.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that's that. Or is it? What wacky, sexy shenanigans will the Sister get into next?


End file.
